My Last Post on this Blog – My Last Post of You.

{ October 28, 2008 @ 2:52 am } · { Uncategorized }
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To end off a chapter of my life, this will be the last post on this blog. Maybe i will start a new one, or maybe . . . . .

Had some (or rather quite a lot of) turbulent times these past 7 months of my life. Never thought that i can walk out of this relationship, but i am proud, i have finally done it. Although not completely, but at least, i have accepted the fact that things can no longer be reverted back to how it was 7 months ago ( or 8 yrs ago). Throughout these 7 months, i have had lots of advises. Thank you to all who had taken their time to listen to my rants, with or without advises, i thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

” Let it go”

” Hang on, its 8 yrs here”

” Are you sure of what you are doing ??? “

” Come on, you can find someone better “

etc

These are the few of the many responses that i get for the past months. I keep finding answers, answers which are soothing to my ears, answers which doesnt cut through my heart, answers that i do not have to take any responsibility if i had hurt anyone in the process ……

BUT i have came to realise - the ultimate decision lies with me. As the saying goes “Live by the sword, Die by the sword” I will definitely stand by the decision i have made.

And i think this verse of a new song is written just for me

“穿越一场海啸什么滋味 我终于亲身体会天崩地裂 筋疲力尽灵魂不在身体里面 然而万岁万岁终于和你有个了结.你一边我一边 我们的世界最好别再重叠 也别再回想那个太长太长的昨天 太多爱太多泪别再这样浪费.”

I will never forget the night, the words you said, and the handshake you insisted, not because i cant accept the fact that you too have decided to part, rather, it tarnishes the image of you in my mind these 8 yrs.

Nevertheless, all is over. ( though things are still so fresh in my head )

Finally, we both saw light, and reached the end of the tunnel – different ends of the tunnel. I wish you all the best, and is really thankful for the happy memories that you have given me.

{ July 11, 2008 @ 2:24 pm } · { WoRk WoEs, studieSSSS }
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have been neglecting my blog for quite awhile. used to blog during working hours, but recently got some additional responsibilities, so more bz at work lo (not say last time very free la) haha. school also start le, this time, holiday seems to be so short, as i still remember that i was hoping for class to start sooner the previous semester, and this sem, i really dread gg back to school …. sigh. probably coz this sem’s modules are super boring, all 3 also theory modules , which are killers (at least for me) coz i nv do well in theory modules. sianz half. as for wrk, getting kinda more busy and tasks are more difficult, and there are more and more numbers. sometimes really scared to make mistakes.  must really buck up and strengthen my accounting knowledge before more duties come to me.

 

*** I am gonna have a new desgination ! :)

teary mode

{ June 16, 2008 @ 9:18 am } · { my Boi, sAD !!! }
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started the day in teary mode, probably due to over-worryness from the previous nite. My little baby was coughing very badly close to midnight, and it got so bad that my bro, dad and mum was woken up by the coughs, yes, all except for me. Then my mum suddenly called “ah girl ah girl” in those very “scary” tone, y i say scary is coz she only sound like that when she feels scared-worried-dunno what is happening to dodo. so i was jolted awake, put on my specs, and see dodo trying a little hard to breathe, but by the time i got to cuddle him, he is alright wagging his tail already. then i went back to bed, recalling what the vet told me before (which is, if one day, he cant purge out the liquid from his lungs in time, then he might ……. ) so i keep rethinking, what would happened if one day that really happens, how will i be able to take it if one day he leaves, and so on ….. that kept me awake for quite awhile, before i drifted off to lalaland again, feeling heavy hearted.

then woke up in the morning, still feeling kinda disturbed from the previous nite’s episode, i started to think of pple close to me, and my mind dwell on granny, who left us close to 2 yrs ago …..  i kept thinking of the funeral, what happened during her funeral, how i cried my eyes out that time then my thoughts flow to the times i had with her when i was still a little girl …. and i started to tear in the MRT lo! think i still miss her v much, esp since it is nearing her death anniversary.

finally, i thought selfishly, if i can leave the world before my nearest and dearest do, would it be much easier for me ?

sigh

 

{ June 10, 2008 @ 10:02 am } · { WoRk WoEs, jUst bEing MyselF, studieSSSS }
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took me quite a while to blog this entry, coz was kinda busy fulfilling all the meet-ups which i have been postponing and pushing and delaying due to exams la, my own problems and …

so far, managed to meet darling, go out a bit here and there, but have yet to meet up with buddy,mr Ang & the whole gang of classmates …. seems liek they are busier than me …. wahahaha.

The good news is, i passed all my modules this sem! Yay! with 2 credits and a distinction. one of the credits really came as a surpise as i had only expected a pass, probably due to the high distinction i got the the assignment, tats y it help pulled up my overall marks ….. really thank my lucky stars man … kekeke

the other good news is, i am finally learning some new stuff @ work, coz now, is actually WIP transferring to the GL team. So far, have learnt the revenue portion of GL, which is only the minimal la, but enough to keep me busy for the time being. The real thing will come when they get a replacement for my current post, and when i fully transfer over lo. but hor i keep having the feeling that “pple” and “alliance” are delibrately holding back hiring of my replacement leh. hopefully they dun play me out lo, after agreeing to let me move on to GL.

the upcoming stressful thingy will be the Asia Finance Conference which will be held on the 3rd week of the month. Me and my committee members will be gg over there a day earlier. the real thing is on the 25th to 26th. my first time in a committee organising such a big scale event ….. haha ….. hope everything will go well man. Already starting to get stressed, and of coz, hope the boat ride will be smooth , v v smooth. kekekeke

things are certainly looking up, probably, i will have a better 2nd half of 2008.

wish things could jsut remain as peaceful as they are now …….

till then ….

 

i am going crazy

{ June 2, 2008 @ 5:09 pm } · { ponderingsssss }
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how should i do it ?

how much can i withstand ?

how long should i hang on ?

how much can i take ?

i am going crazy

a fren asked me ……

{ May 27, 2008 @ 3:54 pm } · { ponderingsssss }
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she asked, how would i feel if i found out that a close fren has been keeping stuff from me … …

its not like i have never thought about this before, because along the 24 yrs plus plus of my life, esp years when we go to school, and start to have our own “secrets”, be it crushes, who-dun-fren-who, secret admirers/admires etc ….. there is bound to be some cases where u knw that this who has been keeping this from you, and that fren knws something and dun tell u ….

for me, the anger might be more for pple who are closer to me as compared to pple who are not that close to me, but on the contrary, i would be appeased sooner with someone who is closer compared to those who are not lo …,

anyway, the point is , if there is a basis on why he/she hid things from you, and if its valid/understandable, i guess, utimately, he/she should feel happy that the person who chose to keep silent for the time being is thinking so much for him/her lo. at least for me, tats how i think ……

guess when its time, things will be revealed accordingly ……..

{ May 23, 2008 @ 4:49 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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杨宗纬-洋葱

如果你眼神能够为我
片刻的降临
如果你能听到
心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你
沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己
像是空气
大家都吃著聊著笑著
今晚多开心
最角落里的我
笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我
永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你
偷偷的隐藏著自己
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我
看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们
暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望
装得很风趣
我就样一颗洋葱
永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒
专属的剧情

never thot that old gingers are so powerful

{ May 22, 2008 @ 5:03 pm } · { WoRk WoEs }
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i cleared the air with my manager …… never thot that old ginger (accomplice) can be so powerful …. i am glad i pondered long and serious enough to 摊牌 with my manager.

Anyway, things are good for now …. hope this peace will not be disrupted any soon ….. and i hope the opportunity which i have been waiting for long, would come knocking soon ……

kekeke

*scheryl*

looooong weekend

{ May 19, 2008 @ 5:44 pm } · { WoRk WoEs, jUst bEing MyselF, my Boi }
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this long weekend, was a tired one, coz didnt have enough sleep lo…..

friday went for medical appt, then saw the doc, doc refers me to another doc saying this and that, anyway i see how lo, might just take another blood test towards end of the month to see how the results are first lo ….. if shows that not optimistic, then maybe really have to go gleneagles for follow-up

friday nite went for dinner at jacks place …. kekeke… so long nv eat le , yummy! then saturday went to sis’s bday cel @ club fabulous. before that had dinner at ajisen and bought a cake from Angie the Choice. reached there early and started drinking first lo …… by the time we left, i was half intoxicated. hahahaha … then sunday after nua-ing, went blading in the evening, realised that i really rusty le, just like my blades ….. kekeke … had a very difficult time getting from the carpark to the blading track lo ….. really terrible …. anyway, i think i better stick to swimming / starving for my diet plans ….. those are not so “dangerous” ….. hahahahahaha …..

tmr gg back to wrk again ….. sometimes feel like stay at home v sianz, BUT, go work is even more sian with so many “masked” pple ard …. y cant pple just mind their own business, work , go home and end of the mth take salary leh…. is it really that difficult ???

anyway, i just bought a standard scrap booking box set …. i bought the doggie one, so that can do naldo’s one first ….. finish the first page, but soon realise that i have too little recent photos to continue, so …. tmr shall go and print the pics before continuing …. and yup, this is gonna be my mini proj for the 7 weeks break from school ….

next mth exam results will be out, hopefully all can pass, keeping my fingers crossed

till then

*scheryl*

post-exams post

{ May 15, 2008 @ 11:16 am } · { ShOppIng FreakO mE, fun Time, jUst bEing MyselF, studieSSSS }
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wooo .. close to 3 weeks nv blog le, was bz studying for exams, and also, everytime write de stuff also more or less the same, so didnt write lo ….. exams was quite tough, one of the papers i think i cfm buang one lo, and if i managed to pass, could be due to my self proclaimed nice handwriting that resulted in sympathy marks lo .. hahahaha .. the rest was alright.

before exams, held a chalet at changi with some colleagues and my family. have a great time bbq-ing and eating bbq food and of coz, spending time with my frens and colleagues lo … … ate a lot too … imagine i ate 2/3 of a tub of walls ice cream all by myself ….. hahahaha …… lala-bf was amazed …… 

anyway, now that exams is over, i have to think of what to do for the next 7 weeks break to keep myself busy …. should i just buy some dvds to watch ? or go into what darling is into now – scrapping .. but very troublesome coz need many many materials .. and i lazy lo .. hahahaha … and expensive hobby also ….. now that i have been ”coerced” to save $$, i better make sure that  i have enough money to get thru the month with that amount tucked away into the savings acct ….. arghhh. definitely not easy, but will try v v hard lo ….. kekekeke

gg for my brain scan this friday (or rather tmr) coz its been 1/2 a year le .. so fast …. hopefully all will go fine this time …. really praying hard …

till then

 

*scheryl*

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